The Billarys Say "McCain's The One!"

At precisely 4:24 this morning, I was visited with an insight that underscored just what both Barack Obama and the Democratic Party are actually up against. Again taking advantage of their complete willingness to do the utterly unthinkable in order to get what they want (eventually, at least) the Billarys have decided that if they can’t deny Obama the nomination, they will at least deny him the presidency. They have reached this decision, I believe, not simply because they’re sore losers, which, God knows, they certainly are, but from a cold calculation that, if Oby is to be the nominee, Hillary’s still white-hot presidential ambitions are ultimately better served by seeing John McCain win in November rather than “her opponent,” as ol’ Bill slyly denotes him when he suggests that Obama comes up short in the patriotism department compared to McCain and Ms. Bill.

It’s all so startlingly simple that I’m sure this has occurred to a zillion other folks. If Oby wins, unless he’s unspeakably awful, he’s a shoo-in for re-nomination in 2012. If he is unspeakably awful, he’s probably soiled the nest for his would-be Democratic successor. On the other hand, if Oby isn’t elected this fall, Hillary has full-blown “I told you so” rights, and four years to lay a huge guilt trip on her party for withholding what was rightly hers this year, before graciously agreeing to accept its nomination in 2012. By that time McCain will make Methuselah seem prepubescent, and given his recent slip-ups, he might actually get confused and endorse Hillary himself. This scenario explains why, short of telling the truth, of course, the Billarys would rather do just about anything other than speak ill of Johnny Mac these days. In fact, Bill’s got such a case of McCain fever that if the two ever got off to themselves, the good senator would be well advised to have his suit cleaned immediately, just in case.

You may well scoff at such conspiratorial thinking, but if you think the Billarys are above such nefarious behavior, I‘ve got news for you: “THEY AIN’T ABOVE NOTHIN’!” We’re talking about people who lie with absolute aplomb not only purposefully but sometimes simply for the pure hell of it, just to see if they can get away with it, even when, as my mama used to say, “the truth would suit better.” Recall here Hillary’s recent account of her bravery under sniper fire in Bosnia. If you saw the video, you also saw that she was lying with such conviction and sincerity, that even though you already knew better, you could have sworn you were there with her, ducking the bullets zipping just overhead.

“What of party loyalty?” you ask. “What of it?” the Billarys respond. Ms. Clinton has hardly established herself as much of a Party girl, Democratic or otherwise. It has finally dawned even on self-absorbed New Yorkers that Hillary had about as much real interest in representing them in the Senate as Bill would have had in making out with Eleanor Roosevelt.(or vice-versa, for that matter) New York was simply the best launching pad for her presidential campaign. If Arkansas has as many people with as much money, she would just as soon senator-ized for them for a few years. (Some misguided concern for fairness forces me to point out that, if Oby goes to the White House, his career as a senator from Illinois will be effectively be “one and done.”) In raising a bodacious $20 million-plus war chest for her 2006 senatorial re-election bid against a no-way-in hell Republican opponent, Miss Hillary gobbled up dollars that might have gone to other truly needy Democratic candidates while, padding her 2008 coffers and scoring major intimidator points among prospective rivals for the Demo presidential nod.

At this point, certainly, the real beneficiary of the Billarys’ balls-out trashing of Obama would appear to be John McCain. The latest national polls show him leading Oby by nine points and Hillary by five. Meanwhile, among Dems,“her opponent” has regained a slight lead over the Bosnian war hero. The not-quite-right Rev. Wright doubtless has something to do with Oby’s skid, of course, and it’s too soon to tell whether he will become less burdensome as time passes. Meanwhile, McCain’s beloved “surge” appears to be slipping into reverse. A hundred years, huh, John? Regardless of what happens from here on ,one thing at least seems likely. If Barack Obama is elected in November, neither he nor his party will have to worry about sending any thank-you notes to the junior senator from New York and her former first-Bubba spouse.

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This page contains a single entry by Jim Cobb published on March 25, 2008 3:44 PM.

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