MY KIND OF WIMP

ALTHOUGH IT CONSISTENTLY TESTS MY FAITH IN DEMOCRACY, I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN GIVEN TO PORING OVER “THE LETTERS TO THE EDITOR” PAGE OF WHATEVER NEWSPAPER IS HANDY. SINCE RETURNING TO GEORGIA NEARLY A DECADE AGO, I HAVE BEEN STRUCK BY THE NUMBER OF CORRESPONDENTS WHO SEEM TO HAVE TAKEN IT AS THEIR SOLE PURPOSE IN LIFE TO EXCORIATE JIMMY CARTER. FEWER THAN HALF OF THE WHITE SOUTHERNERS WHO VOTED IN 1976 SUPPORTED CARTER, BUT A LOT MORE THAN THAT SEEM TO FEEL THAT HE SOMEHOW “BETRAYED” THEM AS PRESIDENT THROUGH SUCH "UNSOUTHERN" DECISIONS AS HANDING OVER THE PANAMA CANAL AND FAILING TO TURN IRAN INTO A PARKING LOT DURING THE 1980 HOSTAGE CRISIS. THE RECENT CONFERENCE ON THE CARTER PRESIDENCY HERE AT THE UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA HAS BROUGHT THESE SPEWERS OF VITRIOL OUT IN FORCE. ON A SINGLE DAY LAST WEEK THE ATHENS PAPER FEATURED ONE FIERY MISSIVE PROCLAIMING CARTER “THE WORST PRESIDENT OF THE MODERN ERA, BY FAR” AND DISMISSING FORMER MEMBERS OF HIS ADMINISTRATION AS “A BUNCH OF WASHED-UP BEDWETTERS.” MEANWHILE, A FEW LINES AWAY ANOTHER SERIOUSLY DISTURBED INDIVIDUAL DERIDED CARTER AS “THE BIGGEST WIMP OF ALL MODERN DAY PRESIDENTS.” (YEAH, THANK GOD WE FINALLY GOT OUR SWAGGER BACK UNDER GEORGE W. AND HIS HANDLER, ‘”DELUSIONAL DICK.” ) AS FORMER CARTER VP WALTER MONDALE POINTED OUT, WHERE S.O.P. FOR MOST POLITICIANS IS “FRONTLOAD PLEASURE” AND “BACKLOAD PAIN,” LIKE THE GOOD BAPTIST THAT HE IS, CARTER DID JUST THE OPPOSITE, TELLING US WHAT WE NEEDED TO HEAR EVEN WHEN HE KNEW WE DIDN’T WANT TO HEAR IT. HAD MORE OF US LISTENED TO HIM WHEN HE WARNED US OF THE NEED TO CONSERVE ENERGY AND REDUCE OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL, WE’D BE A HELL OF A LOT LESS VULNERABLE TO THE TIN HORN TYRANTS AND THE MURDEROUS FANATICS WHO’VE MADE OUR LIVES MISERABLE UNDER THE MACHO DUDE WHO SEEMS TO BE THE KIND OF PRESIDENT CARTER’S DETRACTORS PREFER.