I, James C. Cobb, do solemnly resolve that in the year of our Lord 2006, I will step up my campaign to have the possum declared the state marsupial, find a way to vote for Kinky Friedman in the Texas gubernatorial election, prove conclusively that Al Gore was lying; the internet was actually invented by the folks who make Viagra and Cialis, persuade Congress to declare any bar that doesn’t serve Sam Adams in violation of the Patriot Act, and, as my crowning achievement, establish the “Heckuva Job, Brownie!” award, recognizing the most arrogantly incompetent Bush-admin-a-crat of the year, provided, of course, I can find a selection committee willing to wade through such a multitude of deserving candidates.
I actually made more resolutions, but the rest are mostly frivolous. Speaking of the Patriot Act, I see that its supporters are saying that anyone who opposes its renewal will be responsible if we are hit with another terrorist attack. By the same logic, if the act is renewed and we are still attacked , I guess its proponents will have to admit that, however useful it may have been in suppressing dissent, the Patriot Act was pretty much useless as a deterrent to terrorism.
